The greatest obstacle

Feelings of pain, loneliness, rejection are not wrong. In fact they may need to come to the surface if they’ve been suppressed. Unresolved emotional issues must find release or they build up inside you, turning into resentment.

You’d have to be super-human not to feel resentment after years of disparagement and verbal abuse. Humanly speaking you have every right to feel bitter.  The trouble is that resentment does you more harm that it does anyone else. It festers deep within your heart; drains your already depleted emotional reserves and it makes you hyper-sensitive to emotional pain.

Distorts

Resentment is the greatest obstacle to moving on; to becoming whole.  It builds a wall around you, imprisoning you; stifling you; crushing the life out of you. It distorts your perceptions, conditions your thinking; eats away at your peace of mind and poisons all your emotions.

Resentment deadens your sense of humour, dulls your sparkle, destroys any chance of ever experiencing the sheer joy of life. It  affects just about every situation and every relationship in your life – and will continue to do so until it is overcome.

.

.

Resentment is so insidious that you may not even realise it’s there. It may be buried so deep that no one else recognises it. But that doesn’t mean that they are unaffected by it; resentment will always reveal it’s existence in one form or another. Other people may not be able to ‘put a finger’ on just what isn’t right; they’ll just sense it. Resentment is an invisible barrier to open carefree relationships. It’s is an unhealthy emotion; damaging to your physical health as well as to your emotional health and relationships.

Antidote

Forgiveness is the antidote to resentment. Forgiveness doesn’t have to be a heart-feeling; it only needs to be a mental decision. You’d have to be super-human to feel forgiving towards someone who’s been verbally abusing you for years. It doesn’t, however, require superhuman strength to make a mental choice to forgive.

Forgiveness can’t wait for your abuser to ask for your forgiveness; that might never happen. And in the meantime resentment will continue to poison your life. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing verbal abuse to continue. That would only fuel resentment. Tough love can coexist with forgiveness. In fact tough love makes it easier to let go of resentment. Tough love is a healthy strategy – as opposed to tough resentment or tough hate.

.

.

Forgiving, when you’ve been deeply hurt, is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but you must forgive, and keep on forgiving until resentment no longer controls you. Those protective walls you’ve built around you have become your prison; they must be pulled down, stone by stone. The heart that pain has closed up must be opened;  to the love of God; to the love of others; to self-love. Bitterness, fear and distrust must be rooted out.

There is no way that you can do this yourself – ever! This is God’s work. All you have do is to make that mental choice to forgive. God is the wall-toppling, communication-restoring, esteem-building healer of broken hearts and relationships. If you let Him, He will help you to live and love again.

.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds
on the heel that has crushed it (Mark Twain)

.

This is the miracle of that authentic encounter with God. Resentment is the obstacle to that miracle. That mental choice to forgive is the gateway to healing and wholeness; it’s the beginning of the process of becoming the person you were created to be. As part of this process, repressed feelings of pain, loneliness or rejection may begin to surface and you may feel them more keenly. These feelings are not obstacles; they are an essential part of the process of healing. Only resentment is an obstacle, and as repressed hurts surface and are faced and dealt with this can help to purge deep-seated resentment.

Humanly speaking

Humanly speaking you may have every right to feel resentment but that doesn’t make resentment right in God’s eyes. You need to ask him to forgive your resentment before you can ask Him to root it out. You may not have deserved all the years of verbal abuse but that doesn’t mean that you’re faultless; you’re human after all! So while you’re at it, ask God to forgive anything else you can think of and clear the way for that authentic life-transforming encounter with Him. Humbling yourself before God is small price to pay for what He will do in your life.

You may wonder why God has allowed the abuse you’ve lived with all these years. But perhaps that’s what it’s taken to bring you to your knees before Him. He has ‘bottled’ your every tear and He has all eternity to make it up to you if you’ll let Him

.

.

I learned through my first marriage to an abusive husband; through the war; and through the my mother’s death, that all misfortune leads to fortune in different ways. Whether it’s to wisdom or sometimes to peace. These misfortunes have contributed to what I am, which I am grateful for.” This is a quote from Zainab Salbi who grew up in Saddam Hussein’s inner circle, escaped an abusive husband and now champions women affected by war. (Harpers Baazar March 2010)

It’s all about you now

It’s all about you now; your healing; your wholeness; your self-esteem. It’s about you becoming the person you were created to be. Discover for yourself what the unconditional love of God feels like. He has loved you since before time began. He loved you so much that He sent His Son to die on a cross for you. He has waited patiently for you to turn to Him. You may neither understand nor believe these things right now but God can reveal them to you if you ask Him to.

.

.

God wants to demonstrate to you the love that took Jesus to the Cross and the power that raised Him from the dead. That love and that power will transform your life if only you will ask for it. That love and that power will bring you to not only believe in God, but to love Him; to delight in Him; to worship Him. Do you want that love and that power? Or would you prefer to struggle on in your own strength? “God, if you exist, please reveal yourself to me and give me that authentic encounter with you

Sensitive to Him

You need to stop and ask yourself, ‘Can God interrupt me? Can He get my attention short of a catastrophe?’ Some of your ‘God experiences’ will happen when you’re preoccupied with something else. So pray that you’ll be sensitive enough to realise it’s God, and respond to Him rather than the pressures around you.  God can give you a solution or a strategy that will solve a problem. He can de-stress you. He can give you direction for the future. All He requires is that you be sensitive to Him, available to Him, and responsive to Him.

There is a prayer at the end of this page.
That prayer is the most powerful prayer I know
It’s been life-changing for me.

.

.

A Heart For The Hurting deals with how God can undo the emotional damage and transform us into the person He created us to be

.

Here are three related web sites:-

A Heart For The Hurting

  • negative and besieging thoughts
  • perceptions and emotional reactions
  • a level of emotional ill-health that may go unrecognised
  • how perceptions can be changed and destructive thought patterns broken
  • how we can become the person we were created to be.

.

.

A Word To The Church

More people have been brought into the church by the kindness of real Christian love, than by all the theological arguments in the world. And more people have been driven from the church by the hardness and ugliness of so-called Christians than by all the doubts in the world.” (William Barclay)

.

.

Food For Thought

On the nutritional roots of physical and mental illness.  “Dr Weston Price did not believe that physical degeneration was God’s plan for mankind. He was rather inclined to believe that the Creator intended physical perfection for all human beings, and that children should grow up free of ailments.”

Please Note: I’m currently working on the Food For Thought site – to bring in the latest scientific research, that is vindicating and elucidating the work of of the early nutritionists. In order to do that I have taken most of the web pages offline so that I can ‘tweek’ them. You might like to read the pages that are already back online – and then keep checking back as I replace more pages.

.

.

Recommended reading

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Advertisements